Make Marriage a Priority

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

-Helen Rowland

Whoever said marriage was easy has to be single. Marriage was never meant to be easy. It is complicated and messy but if you figure your way through it, its love and companionship and so totally worth it. No relationship is without conflict. How we handle that conflict forms its bedrock. Often we are so caught up in proving that we are right, we sidetrack from the main issue. Try to see beyond that so you can understand where it’s coming from. That connect is the only right not your respective point of view.

Marriage is overrated in terms of pressure and expectations. No other relationship extracts as much as this one does. Culled from experiences, some mine and some others’, here are a few pointers, in no particular order, that can help build a healthy marriage.

CHILDREN- What makes them more vulnerable?

To put it into perspective, remember that the operative words are 'respect', 'patience', 'growth', 'equality', 'humor' and the ‘commitment’ to build a life together with common relationship goals. Do not toss it away, you just might have a good thing going for you there. Happily, ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice. 

If the two of are unable to iron out your differences, counselling should be given a try. A marriage therapist's job is to listen to couples' frustrations and try to help each spouse work through his or her issues. Of course it may entail tough love advice but never give up without a sincere effort. Marriage counseling also encourages both partners to focus on self-improvement and self-awareness. Therapy isn't very effective if both partners aren't completely honest about what's creating distance between them.  

The only reason where an opt out should be the only way forward is abuse- physical or mental. We often associate abuse to be physical. It is usually easy to spot. But the mental abuse is worse. Often we take it in our stride but even a single episode should raise your antennae. No relationship can be healthy which has a baggage of abuse. It is NOT normal. Love has no place for abuse of any kind.


I shall leave you with some words of the wise. Behind that humor is probably the shortest advice I would give to anyone who seeks for it.

To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the loving cup, 

Whenever you're wrong, admit it;

Whenever you're right, shut up. 

-Ogden Nash

Do not read in between the lines and assume that I am asking you not to take a stand but to remind you that people to be loved HAS to be more important than the issues to be resolved.

Dr.Shivani Salil


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