Does your marriage need counselling?

or rather does it actually help to save a marriage? It’s mostly dependent on the mindset of the couple who are in search of help, says marriage counsellors in Mumbai.

Once upon a time, marriage was known as a ‘forever’ commitment. Nowadays, however, it’s a completely different saga with some marriages being as short-term as just a few days or months. Divorce is no more an unfamiliar or feared word among couples. In fact, with the present rising divorce rate, marriage counsellors are a busy lot, some habitually working overtime. Although couples are, even at the slenderest hint of distress, are advised to seek help from marriage counselling. The major point now being questioned is whether marriage or relationship counselling really helps solve a couple’s distress and sort out the differences.

Many relationship counsellors are of the opinion that marriage counselling makes couples feel that their ‘relationship still stands a chance to be saved’.
Sustaining a marriage and solving problems within the marriage takes effectual skills. We might feel we are doing all we can to resolve the problems in a marriage but, a marriage counselling can be of great advantage in teaching us innovative ways of solving problems and getting our requisites fulfilled.
In relationship counselling, you will learn how to settle conflict in a healthy manner. You will learn communication skills that will support you in not only listening to your partner but also process what your partner is saying.

A recent international report suggested that family counselling can makes couples with children detect success points over failure and give them a string hope that their relationship isn’t already over. In the study conducted among couples facing matrimonial dilemmas and hence, went to a counsellor; many said their relationship problems solved with professional help privately were better than the ones previously solved between themselves or with the help of close friends and family. For these couples, resorting to expert counsellor was essentially connected with feelings of success and revival of lost love, that it wasn’t too late to ‘mend their relationship’.

Dr. Chinmay Kulkarni, practicing consultant and psychiatrist at Mumbai Psychiatry Clinics opines that online marriage counselling is to work through unresolved issues instead of blaming the partner for the conflict. He further added, the problem mainly lies in the unrealistic expectations and aims concerned couples have from online marriage counselling. “Often they book online marriage counsellors thinking that they want to fix their partner or that somebody will tell them where precisely things are going wrong or that the counsellor will do the work of conveying the bad news to the spouse that the marriage is over,” he says.

Across the world, people have understood the significance of online relationship counselling, especially before marriage and the role it plays in dropping the amount of post-marital tension. Yes, some couples might question the logic of going to a relationship counsellor when they feel they can sort out their problems themselves, but waiting to see your marriage doomed is again not advisable.

Unfortunately, marriage counselling is quite misunderstood term. Couples must understand that we do not counsel the institution of marriage but rather the individuals in the marriage. What online counselling helps them deal with is their conjoined issues. In fact, many people get upset when online counsellors tell the couples them that there is no problem with the marriage but it is their individual problems that are triggering the conflict.

With family counselling, you will be offered a secure environment for expressing any disappointment you experience. In case of sexual concerns, getting your inner feelings out into the open with the assistance of a trained sex counsellor may be all you need to save your marriage. You may discover that your spouse is more than keen to work together to resolve the problems in the marriage. While you might also find that your spouse is reluctant to do the work with online counselling. If so, you are then free to leave the marriage devoid of any guilt since you had given it your best shot.

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